Er, yep, all of this resonates so hard... well not quite all of it as I think I'm a little way behind you and still figuring out where my boundaries lie, but that's the other thing. We (I) have had a tendency to think of boundaries as static but they are dynamic and mine have shifted A LOT since my burnout. Another difference is that I find setting them with myself so much easier than trying to get other people to accept them- Probably because i am much more aware than they are of the consequences of ignoring them. My current bout of 'burnout' being the obvious example. It was caused, and has been exacerbated by the refusal of others (and I suppose my own lack of confidence) to trust that I know what I need to stay well. I think it's been an important lesson, and reminder that having/ setting boundaries is a practice rather than an action.
Yes to all of this! Just like healing, boundaries aren’t linear, we have to ride their waves. We have to be able to adapt and change them when necessary. I’m sorry it took an exhausting thing to face such as burnout, but I’m glad you’re using this as a way to reevaluate which boundaries truly matter. We can’t be too stern, we have to be able to reflect. What protected us yesterday, might not protect us today. And to your very important last point, just like a plant, I believe we have to water our boundaries daily. Cliché but true: practice makes perfect.
Side note: I’m in awe of the fact that you know the consequences of ignoring your nonnegotiables, which is exactly what I strive to do. Kudos to you!
Oh I wouldn't be impressed- I know the consequences but after the even, so still burned out and unable to work- AGAIN. I'd say your knowing what the non-negotiables are is more valuable, hopefully that means you won't have to experience the consequences to the extent I have. 😊
Er, yep, all of this resonates so hard... well not quite all of it as I think I'm a little way behind you and still figuring out where my boundaries lie, but that's the other thing. We (I) have had a tendency to think of boundaries as static but they are dynamic and mine have shifted A LOT since my burnout. Another difference is that I find setting them with myself so much easier than trying to get other people to accept them- Probably because i am much more aware than they are of the consequences of ignoring them. My current bout of 'burnout' being the obvious example. It was caused, and has been exacerbated by the refusal of others (and I suppose my own lack of confidence) to trust that I know what I need to stay well. I think it's been an important lesson, and reminder that having/ setting boundaries is a practice rather than an action.
Yes to all of this! Just like healing, boundaries aren’t linear, we have to ride their waves. We have to be able to adapt and change them when necessary. I’m sorry it took an exhausting thing to face such as burnout, but I’m glad you’re using this as a way to reevaluate which boundaries truly matter. We can’t be too stern, we have to be able to reflect. What protected us yesterday, might not protect us today. And to your very important last point, just like a plant, I believe we have to water our boundaries daily. Cliché but true: practice makes perfect.
Side note: I’m in awe of the fact that you know the consequences of ignoring your nonnegotiables, which is exactly what I strive to do. Kudos to you!
Oh I wouldn't be impressed- I know the consequences but after the even, so still burned out and unable to work- AGAIN. I'd say your knowing what the non-negotiables are is more valuable, hopefully that means you won't have to experience the consequences to the extent I have. 😊
I’m sending you love and healing! 🙏
This is the time to tend to yourself and soothe your mind, body and soul. Everything else can wait.