I want to kickstart this by saying I had no idea that “aesthetic” was a word to define a phase one is in, until three years ago. English is not my second but third language. So when I first learned about the word “aesthetic” many years ago, I had no idea I was going to be seeing it all over the internet to define anything other than “a particular theory or conception of beauty and art”, the definition according to Merriam-Webster. Put simply, I didn’t think I was going to use this word outside of a museum.
In came the beginning of the pandemic and the unforgettable lockdown of 2020, when everybody was yearning for anything other than grief, loss and uncertainty. Instead, consumerism plagued everyone’s minds as TikTok became the number one sensation and marketing fast-fashion and makeup brands on the app rose to an unimaginable level.
That is obviously when I started seeing the word “aesthetic” everywhere. And sure enough, “core” followed. It was “cottage core”, “academia core”, “witch core”(?)
I remember being completely blindsided by all these words and styles. I was bombarded by all sorts of information that I started to question if I should’ve adopted a “core” by now. Why am I not “that girl”? What’s my “aesthetic”? Am I doing something wrong?
Needless to say, that caused my anxiety to flare up. I felt the irresistible urge to subscribe to any of these messagings. Because otherwise, something is deeply wrong with me.
It didn’t matter that the whole world had shut down, or that lives were lost, or that we were all dealing with something we never thought was possible. That didn’t stop the marketing monsters from inflicting more pressure on us. Like I said before, and I’ll say it again, capitalism preys on the vulnerable. And we were all very vulnerable at that time. I know I was!
I assumed that by now, as we all decided to unlearn beauty culture and diet culture together - or so I thought -, I wouldn’t have to come across any of the words mentioned above. Silly me.
I want to tell you about the one time I genuinely didn’t think I would be faced with these words.
After figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I obviously did what you would expect me to do. I started to research the possible schools I would apply to, in order to fulfill my dreams. I remember looking for culinary schools and the necessary equipment. I was wondering if I had to buy my own. I somehow ended up redirected to a Pinterest pin about the “female chef aesthetic”. Imagine a personified question mark. That was me.
I had no idea that this was yet another thing I had to strive for? I honestly just want to cook. I didn't know that I had to look a certain way to do so. It was a slap in the face. It was as if I couldn’t escape beauty culture and the marketing monsters, not even in the world of my passion. Again, silly me for thinking that I could in the first place.
Down a rabbit hole I went, of course. It wasn’t until many hours later that I realized that there was an “aesthetic” for literally everything. Think of the most mundane activity, or the most human function. Guess what? They too have a specific “aesthetic”.
Yes, I was anxious throughout the hours I went down that hideous rabbit hole. My lifelong frenemy reared her ugly head, mrs. Self-doubt. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, exactly like back in 2020. I questioned my decisions and the way I lived thus far. I asked myself if I should have been “romanticizing” my life more. (Ah yes, that’s another thing that I didn’t know people were doing.)
But, boy am I glad I scrolled through this monstrosity. It helped me realize that you can aestheticize everything if you try hard enough. That the people behind these “cores”, the creators of them, are also being preyed on. They’re looking for ways to make their lives exciting again. And to them I say:
You won’t find it behind a screen. And you’re creating more harm than good by perpetuating unachievable ideals under the guise of “aesthetics”. Beauty culture is rotting our brains and it starts with us saying “I don’t want to continue down this path. I choose to break the cycle.”
Not everything needs to be an aesthetic, certainly not my cooking. It’s the one place I find ease and solace and I refuse to taint it with a marketable label.